You know, it wouldn’t be a lie if we say that “BloodSport” is as famous to the action film fans as Jenna Jameson is to the adult movie fans.
To these days, it still remains a very celebrated Van Damme karate movie.
One of Jean-Claude’s earliest and most popular action flicks, it will be forever remembered as the film that made The Muscles From Brussels an international film star and a Hollywood action sensation.
Another thing is also true. “Bloodsport” is a shiny diamond for every gold-digger who is searching for some precious 80’s ridiculous action flicks in the low graded action film mine.
Let’s start explaining why.
The story centers around the allegedly true story of Frank Dux (oh, boy, look how young and sweet is our Jean here) whose dream is to participate in the Kumite, a mortal and illegal fight tournament in Hong Kong, China.
He decides to go in Hong Kong, ignoring the interdiction of his military superiors who insist that the young man needs to serve his country in the army.
Frank manages to escape them and lands to China where he enlists for the world’s deadliest fighting championship-Kumite.
I can hardly remember a storyline as simple as this one, so any suggestions in the comments below would be highly appreciated.
The director of the film was the late Newt Arnold. He was famous for his work as a second unit director on movies such as “Blade Runner”, “The Abyss” and “The Godfather 2”.
The writer is the well-known Sheldon Lettich. He is the man behind the scripts of such classics like “Rambo III”, “Lion Heart” (1990), and “Double Impact” (1991).
Except for Jean-Claude Van Damme, the actors worth mentioning are Forest Whitaker, The Beast of the East Bolo Yeung and Donald Gibb as Ray Jackson. Oh, and don’t forget the gorgeous at the time Leah Ayres. An action movie without a hot chick is like a pharmacy without an aspirin.
This is a Funny Action Movie because:
It is curious how every flick involving a karate, a muay thai or a kick boxer guy is trying to deeply persuade you to understand the fanatical importance of leading such a devoted to the martial arts life.
It is the case with this one too. The creators of the movie want you to know that it is extremely hard to be a karate maniac.
It is not at all funny to get up early every day in order to train like crazy and develop yourself mentally and physically.
This training includes some strange, ancient tricks that only the Chinese masters over 85 are enlightened to know. For instance- stretching your body between two trees while you are tighten up with ropes or serving the dinner and walking around the house with a bandage on the eyes.
Sometimes of course, if you want to do the extra mile, you need to go fishing. Not to an ordinary fishing. The fishes are in an aquarium and you are challenged to catch them with your hands and with the bandage on your eyes while listening to some slow Chinese meditation music.
For a six-packed flat stomach, lay down on the ground next to a tree and ask the master to throw a pumpkin from 10 meters high, relying on his accuracy.
If he misses and hits your head and it hurts, then you are not as good as expected and don’t speak about going to Kumite.
It is so funny to watch Jean’s inadequate face and inappropriate taglines in this movie. He is like a dedicated to the training fight robot and nothing else matters for him.
He is so serious in his devotion that suddenly he starts meditating early in the morning just before sunshine.
The camera shows the rising sun, the town’s sights from a bird’s eye and of course, the muscular figure of Van Damme performing splits on the balcony. Epic!
Well, this split is not as impressive as the freaking Volvo trucks commercial with more than 85 million views on Youtube, but anyway it still means that Frank Dux is in a damn good shape.
The music is very dramatic so don’t be surprised if some sweat drops appear on your forehead.
The competition itself is very hilarious. Some fight addicted junkies all around the world are bleeding all over the screen. All the actors are absurd. The notorious champion of the Kumite from the previous year is a short and at the same time very muscular Chinese man.
It is not surprising that Bolo Yeung is also known as The Chinese Hercules. His character Chong Li is so maniacal and evil that he even killed some pretenders while competing against them.
After every victory, he is hitting his chest and screams like a retard. You keep asking yourself: “Boy, is King Kong a wild Chinese creature?!”
Attention: There are some spoilers in the next paragraphs, but I can guarantee you that they can only make you want to watch the movie even more.
The cup is over full for Frank Dux after King Kong almost kills on the ring his bulked friend Ray Jackson with the ridiculous curly hair.
From now on, it doesn’t take an IQ over 44 to realize that the movie grand finale will be a bloody battle for revenge between Van Damme and this scary Chinese man.
Blinded by fury Van Damme is trying to beat his opponent but of course, it is not so easy to win such a prestigious fight immediately, so at first he is beaten hard by the Chinese screaming creature.
To make it even more dramatic and to risk you a heart attack, Chong Li throws some dust in the eyes of Frank Dux.
Blind and panicked it is almost over for him. While you are laughing hard he is remembering the lessons from the master and how it is not at all necessary to have eyes in order to fight.
He starts to feel his rival and hits him like crazy until full victory. Of course, without the ridiculous tortured face and the yelling, this wouldn’t be possible.
If you were wondering if Jean- Claude wins, yes he does. Happy end! Yippee!
Extremely funny and masterfully executed in the spirit of the classic movies from the late 80’s this is a flick, hard to forget. Haters can talk to the hand because this action gem is fantastic with its simplicity and spectacular fighting scenes.
Believe it or not, the dumb plot and the poor acting make nothing more but to add an ounce of awesomeness to the whole thing.
Please leave me some comments below and tell me, isn’t it the ultimate Van Damme karate movie?