Hold on, folks because we are traveling back to the 90’s to check out Lorenzo Lamas in ‘Viper’.
And I promise you that it is going to be one hell of a fun ride.
‘Viper’ (1994), also known as ‘Bad Blood’ is a proud member of our funny action movies hall of fame.
It is one of Lorenzo Lamas’ finest flicks in terms of brutality and kill count.
It is clichéd, highly erotic, violent, and bad.
In other words, it is super enjoyable and very entertaining.
‘Viper’ is one of those movies that are like the wine – they become better with the time.
Nowadays, when the special effects in the filmmaking are so sophisticated, watching a 25 years-old low-budget action flick can be quite a hilarious experience.
If you are wondering why the movie has two titles, it is simply because there are two versions of it.
The uncut, R-rated version is called ‘Bad Blood’ and the other one, which is uncut, is ‘Viper’.
I rush to assure you that they are both tremendously entertaining and whatever version you manage to find, you can’t go wrong.
Let’s dive into it now.
Cast and Crew
The director of ‘Viper’ is the Hungarian filmmaker Tibor Takacs.
He is mostly known for directing the teenage fantasy hit ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’ (1996) as well as the horror ‘The Gate’ (1987).
The writer is David Copperfield. Wait, I lied. It is Neil Ruttenberg.
Anyway, does it matter?
What is more important is that Lorenzo Lamas plays the former cop Travis Blackstone and he is one ripped badass.
There are some truly awesome hotties in ‘Viper’ and one of them is the Nun from ‘Bad Lieutenant’ (1992) Frankie Thorn.
She portrays Travis’s former lover Rhonda and he does a perfect job being smoking hot.
Another bombshell – Kimberley Kates (small roles as a sex-bomb in various flicks) plays opposite Lorenzo Lamas as his girlfriend Lindee.
Hank Cheyne (‘Loaded Weapon 1’) is in the role of the wild-mannered Franklin Blackstone – Travis’s younger brother.
The inventor of the martial art Joe Son Do, the Korean Joe Son (‘Shootfighter: Fight to the Death’, ‘Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery’) plays the villain Chang.
One curious fact is that Joe Son is a convicted criminal and a villain in real life too.
In 2011, after a DNA sample match, he was sentenced to life in prison for a rape he committed in 1990.
When already in jail, he murdered his cellmate, so apparently he will spend a really long time thinking about his movie career while in prison.
The plot tells the story of the former cop and ex-prisoner Travis Blackstone who lives a quiet life full of sex with his porn star-alike girlfriend Lindee.
When his brother Franklin starts owing a huge amount of money to a dangerous mob organization that threatens to kill his family, Travis is forced back into action.
It is not as simple as that, though.
Franklin is now in a relationship with Travis’s ex-girlfriend Rhonda and Lindee – the girl next to Travis thinks that Travis left her for Rhonda and sends the thugs on his track.
Like they say, jealousy kills.
What happens next? The fun start to roll, of course.
This is a Funny Action Movies Because
As briefly described above, ‘Viper’ or’ Bad Blood’ is cheesy, bad and hilariously entertaining from the start to the finish.
The film starts with a music, so intense that all of a sudden, you might get the medical condition known as stress diarrhea.
The tension continues to build up with the shocking execution of an innocent child.
As far as I can recall, there are only a few actioners that explicitly show a child murder.
One of them is Sam Firstenberg’s ‘Revenge of the Ninja’ (1983).
First, the fat Korean Jimmy Chang (the rapist Joe Son) gives a candy to a little girl in the park, smiles at her, shows her some magic tricks and then suddenly he pulls a bullet to the kid’s head.
The outrageous execution continues when Chang exterminates the little girl’s parents.
The funny thing is that all this happens in a large park full of people and nobody seems to react.
I don’t know if this is on purpose, but the actress playing the mom is overly beautiful, so to speak with a super short skirt that leaves almost nothing to the imagination.
Alas, she dies.
Luckily, shortly after that, Lorenzo Lamas conquers the screen.
The stunning introductory scene with our hero Travis Blackstone presents him like a character from an erotic novel.
The macho is shown while working with a drilling machine at a construction site.
He is all sweaty, wearing a shirt that fits tight to his big tattooed biceps and, oh, what a long fantastic hair!
You might want to pause that scene, ladies.
The fun continues just a few minutes later when Travis hangs in a cheap striptease bar, waiting for his girlfriend Lindee, who dances on the pylon naked.
Be patient and don’t start to arouse yet!
When she finishes her lap dance, Travis takes her home, which is actually a small van.
Half-naked, the two lovebirds play cards and in the next scene, they are already making passionate sex with a retro country music as a background.
Maybe the more appropriate term to describe their activity is banging.
The most intimate parts of Lindee’s body are visible and they switch positions like skilled porn stars. How romantic!
Another funny moment throughout the flick is when the sinister Jimmy Chang points a gun into Lindee’s face.
Instead of starting to scream something like ‘Omg, please spare my life’, she decides to cold-bloodedly lick his thumb and starts talking dirty to him.
Jimmy, already with a boner, manages only to mumble ‘Call me Budha, baby’.
If you are thinking that another erotic scene follows, I have to disappoint you.
The only reason of that probably is the fact that Joe Son’s body is not quite appealing to the eyes of the large audience. At least for that genre.
Franklin, Travis’ brother is also ridiculous. In a preposterous scene, a thug threatens him with a gun and he starts to yell like a goat while performing bizarre Bruce Lee -alike sounds and motions.
Sure enough, the thug beats the hell out of the poor wretch without any mercy.
After that, one utterly hilarious scenes follows.
The action takes place on the third floor of an abandoned construction building. From a distance of 20 meters, Jimmy Chang throws a knife at Travis and the knife stucks into his shoulder.
While dying from pain and bleeding like a wounded animal, Travis Blackstone succeeds to perform an acrobatic somersault one twist and jumps off the third floor.
He then somehow falls in Rhonda’s car, which by chance is at the right place at the right moment.
With the awful special effects and bad editing, the scene looks more unreal than a character from a poorly drawn animation.
Unfortunately, it is one thing to read it and completely another thing to experience it with your own eyes, so pay attention to this one.
What do you think follows after that? Another sex scene, of course.
Travis dreams of making love to his ex-girlfriend Rhonda. In this one, you can easily spot Lorenzo’s naked ass and as a bonus, you can learn some Kama Sutra, so watch carefully.
Shortly after that, another, even more, ridiculous action scene (yes, that’s possible) takes place, when Travis performs an unrealistically high flip over a high-speeding car.
It is at that moment when ‘Viper’ painfully starts to resemble an erotic sci-fi movie.
As you can imagine, the car crashes into another one, provoking huge explosion reminiscent of the one in Hiroshima.
A bit later, several baddies kidnap Rhonda from her car, stealing also the car keys.
Travis gets furious that he cannot use the car but only a few seconds later we see him arriving at his father’s house with the same car. I suppose that this is goof number 847!
The volcanic ending of the movie represents a chaotic massacre with a body count that could possibly exist only during wartimes.
The final one on one fight between the forces of good and the fat forces of evil in the face of Jimmy Chang proves that even with cheap computer effects, one can make a 350-pound man move like Mick Jagger.
Wrapping it All Up
‘Viper’ with Lorenzo Lamas is a fast-paced and fully action packed gem from the 90’s.
It is full of old-school clichés, dumb one-liners, and explosive action scenes.
Lorenzo Lamas delivers strong performance as the martial artist, ex-cop, and skilled lover Travis Blackstone.
‘Viper’ is so bad that it is good and therefore it can’t be missed.
How hard exactly did you laugh after finishing this gem? Leave me a comment below!